Live, Love, Fight, Die, Only To Live Again
by MrsWolfGirl
Summary: She lived with him, She loved with him, Part of her died with him, she doesn't see how she will Love again, but Dumbledore picks up the signs way before she is even sure what's happening herself...
1. She Lived, Now She Love's And Dies

**JUST A NOTE BEFORE HAND SNAPE MAY SEEM A LITTLE OUT OF CHARACTER IN THIS AT TIMES BUT IF HE DOES PLEASE JUST ROLE WITH IT :)**

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><p>Curses were flying everywhere, desperately searching, bodies lying everywhere, more still collapsing around her, blood streaming down her face, vision blurring slightly, cursing hitting her back causing excruciating pain, dragging herself up, must find the one she loves, lights flying everywhere, attacking only those threatening her or to help her friends in need, explosion throwing her to the floor once again, cutting her lip, her arm, her chest, everywhere hurts, fighting the darkness threatening to engulf her, ".awake" she whispered to herself encouragingly, spotting the blur of ginger she'd been searching for, locked in vicious combat, joining his side, taking his hand and fighting off the many attackers, one was left but wasn't defeated in time as a flash of green flew out his wand and collided with Ron, gashes appearing everywhere, blood spilling from him as Hermione finished his attacker off and collapsed on her knees next to the man she loved.<p>

"Hermione" he breathed between each ragged breath "I love you, now and always, no matter what happens, I always have, if we make it through this, I will marry you, I, love, you" a tear streaming down his face, his breath laboured and short

"Ron, I love you too, with all my heart, but this isn't goodbye," she said her voice shaking as tears streamed down her face, cradling Ron in her lap "Please, fight it"

"Im so cold Hermione, so, so, cold" the look of fear and pain in his face mixed with over whelming love was enough to break anyone's heart fighting back the weeping "You're going to be okay Ron, I know you are"

His hand came up and cradled her cheek and wiped away her tears "I'll always be with you, and that's enough for me, wherever I am, I love you" using all his energy to lean up and kiss her one more time with all the love in the world just as strong arms wrapped around her pulling her away "Ron! No, let go off me! Ron!" she screamed as he was hidden from view, multiple people working over him, "Ron" her voice was weak as the blood loss go to her, her vision going dark

"Miss Granger" came a silky voice from behind her as she collapsed in his arms, her worst enemy, yet her strangest saviour

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><p>Slowly she awoke hearing hurried whispers around, her eye lids to heavy to lift so she laid still, listening, feeling her body slowly come alive, starting with her toes slowly working up, enjoying the sensation until she started feeling the excruciating pain that came with it, a tear escaping her eye, unable to move as the effects of the immobilization potion faded off, her eyes fluttered open to see Remus Lupin sat by the side of her bed looking extremely haggard and cut stitched on his forehead.<p>

"Hermione, your awake" a note of relief in his voice

"What happened?" She said trying to push herself into a sitting position and Lupin's hands came up to help her as she winced in pain

"Remus, where's Ron?" no answer "Remus, what happened to him?"

He took her hand "Hermione, im, so sorry, but there's nothing we could do"

"No. I don't believe you. He wouldn't just leave me." The tears in her eyes and streaming down her face proved that deep down she knew what he was saying was true but she wouldn't accept it "NO! HE'S NOT DEAD!"

"Hermione, calm down, you're going to hurt yourself even more"

Ignoring the pain she flung her legs over the side of her bed and slid out "Get off me" she growled as Lupin tried to stop her and she seized her wand from the bedside table, stumbling to the door, using everything and anything for support, tears streaming down her face. Opening the doors with magic, taking all her effort not to collapse, not seeing the cloaked figure in front of her until she smacked straight into him the silky voice coming once more his strong arms wrapping around her body holding her up "Miss Granger?" as she slowly slipped in semi consciousness weeping madly into his chest. Lupin just stared at him his mouth hanging open as Snape's arms wound around her a confused look on his face. "Miss Granger I think you should return to your bed before you do yourself anymore damage" his only response was a nod against his chest as she struggled to control herself, before turning and almost falling over, and would of if Snape's arm hadn't wrapped around her waist in time to save her, pulling her up before Lupin came to his senses and rushed over, picking her up and carrying her to her bed, laying her gently in it before realising blood had soaked through her bandages

"Poppy!" he called but she was already there

"You shouldn't have let her out of bed"

"I…"

"What's done is done, now I need your help"

"What can I do?"

"I need to change her bandages, and I need someone to put pressure on the bleeding while im getting the new one started"

"Why don't the spells work?"

"Because that is dark magic Remus"

"What about stitching it?" came Severus' voice "It's a muggle method they use on the interior and exterior to hold it together and stop the bleeding, therefore giving it a chance to heal"

"But" came Lupin

"But what?" he drawled

"That might just work Severus" she said "Remus fetch me a needle and thread from my office please, Severus come here and help, I assume you know what your doing?"

"Vaguely, it doesn't take a genius to figure it out"

"Look Severus, you're just going to have to swallow your pride, roll up your sleeves and help another human being for once in your life"

He sighed and began rolling up his sleeves as Lupin came back "Here you go Poppy"

"Thank you, now I believe Dumbledore needs your presence"

"Very well, just take care of her Poppy she's like a daughter to me"

"I will Remus, don't worry she'll be fine, now go" she said watching sadly as he turned and left,

"Right let's get to work" Poppy said

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><p>An hour later they were done, they had lost count of how many stitches she had needed but the huge 8 inch trail running diagonally across her ribs suggested a great many and enough for their hands to be covered in blood.<p>

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><p>2 days later Hermione awoke, every part of her hurting but the pain she recognized most was in her ribs, head, arm and heart. Slowly shifting her weight, she slid up, noticing she wasn't in the usual hospital gowns, she had on lose fitting white linen short shorts and a lose fitting linen shirt,<p>

"Ah Miss Granger your awake, how are you feeling?"

"Sore"

"Understandable, here taking these potions you need them to heal fully"….. "I'll leave them on the table" she said bustling round and placing them next to Hermione before turning shooting her a worried glance just before she left and as soon as she did Hermione broke down once more, the type of weeping that signified a broken heart, the type that could cause pain to anyone who heard it because of how desperate and full of pain it was.

Days passed in this same routine, she would wake up, stare at the walls, refuse to drink her potions or let Madam Pomfrey tend to her wounds, insisting she was fine, weeping until she was completely exhausted and her throat burned, barely speak to her visitors, barely sleeping, always having nightmares, staying in the same state as the day she came in because she refused to take her medicine, having no light in her eyes and refusing to take the books she offered, barely eating and drinking only when Madam Pomfrey insisted. Until one night Snape visited her.

It was about 11 o clock at night he visited Poppy to deliver some supplies and noticed the light was still on behind Hermione's curtain, his curiosity getting the better of him

"Poppy, why is Miss Granger's light still on isn't it past lights out?"

"She refuses to sleep, I think she's scared of what she will see when she does, she screams in her sleep you see, not normal nightmare screams… the type of screams that strike fear into your heart, the heartbroken screams, the type that leave scars inside, the type you can't describe"

"You're worried about her?"

"Of course I am Severus, I'd be a fool if I wasn't, she doesn't sleep, or eat, or speak. She only drinks when I insist she does, she weeps, weeps that suggest a broken heart, ones that's shouldn't becoming from such a young girl, she doesn't take her medicine and refuses to let me tend to her wounds, she hasn't got any better, if anything, she's gotten worse, she's blocked herself off from the world, the lights left her eyes, she refuses books, she just sits there and stares at the walls… her voice is always sad… they say the eyes are windows to the soul, if that's true then her soul is well and truly broken, and it is weeping, no one can get through to her"

"Do her parent's know?"

"Her parent's do not even know she exists, she oblivated them and sent them to Australia with no memory of her, just so they could be safe"

"Typical Gryffindor thing to do" He growled

"You would have done the same"

"Goodbye Poppy, let me know if you need anything else brewing"

Sighing "Goodbye Severus" and entered her quarters

He slowly approached her curtain, hesitating, listening to her sobs, before slipping out the door, away from the girl whose blood had been covering his hands mere days before, and that was not something he was going to forget.

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><p><strong>I KNOW SNAPE HASN'T VISITED HER YET AND IM NOT SURE IF THIS IS ANY GOOD, IT WAS OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK PLEASE, I WOULD APPRECIATE IT GREATLY, PLEASE R&amp;R... ALSO I KNOW IT IS ALL RATHER ABRUPT BUT I JUST NEEDED TO GET THE BASIC STORY LINE DOWN, THERE WILL BE FLASH BACKS IN THE PROCESS OF HEALING AND ALL THAT THIS CHAPTER IS JUST TO GET THE BASICS DOWN SO SORRY ABOUT THAT... <strong>


	2. Discharge

It was about 11 o clock at night he visited Poppy to deliver some supplies and noticed the light was still on behind Hermione's curtain, his curiosity getting the better of him

"Poppy, why is Miss Granger's light still on isn't it past lights out?"

"She refuses to sleep, I think she's scared of what she will see when she does, she screams in her sleep you see, not normal nightmare screams… the type of screams that strike fear into your heart, the heartbroken screams, the type that leave scars inside, the type you can't describe"

"You're worried about her?"

"Of course I am Severus, I'd be a fool if I wasn't, she doesn't sleep, or eat, or speak. She only drinks when I insist she does, she weeps, weeps that suggest a broken heart, ones that's shouldn't becoming from such a young girl, she doesn't take her medicine and refuses to let me tend to her wounds, she hasn't got any better, if anything, she's gotten worse, she's blocked herself off from the world, the lights left her eyes, she refuses books, she just sits there and stares at the walls… her voice is always sad… they say the eyes are windows to the soul, if that's true then her soul is well and truly broken, and it is weeping, no one can get through to her"

"Do her parent's know?"

"Her parent's do not even know she exists, she oblivated them and sent them to Australia with no memory of her, just so they could be safe"

"Typical Gryffindor thing to do" He growled

"You would have done the same"

"Goodbye Poppy, let me know if you need anything else brewing"

Sighing "Goodbye Severus" and entered her quarters

He slowly approached her curtain, hesitating, listening to her sobs, before slipping out the door, away from the girl whose blood had been covering his hands mere days before, and that was not something he was going to forget.

Curses flying everywhere, blood smothering her hands, covering her clothes, her wand pointed at him, a green flash flying from the end

"You killed me." Ron asked as Hermione collapsed at his side

"No I."

"You killed me"

"RON" she screamed gasping for air she shot up right in her bed, feeling alone in the crushing darkness, tears already streaming down her face, burying her head in her hands, rocking back and forth not noticing the cloaked figure at the end of her bed watching her until he was sat next to her on her bed "Miss Granger?" his voice like silk, she recognized that voice, it was the voice of her saviour, and she immediately cuddled into him crying into his chest. In any other circumstance, he would of pushed anyone away and demanded to know what they were doing, but this girl, the way she cried. He wound her arms around her. She was the first person to make Severus Snape worried.

Coming to her senses "Oh my God, Im so sorry professor"

He just nodded, hoping she wouldn't remember any of this "Take this" handing her a dreamless sleep potion and she downed it in one.

Madame Pomfrey was bustling around the end of her bed, tidying and dusting when Hermione started coming round

"Ah Miss Granger, how are you feeling?"

"Fine thank you" she was surprised she got away with the lie after catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror "How long have I been out for?"

"A week on and off, we were starting to get worried about you"

"How on earth was I out for that long?"

"Dreamless sleep potion my dear, I believe you awoke in the middle of the night rather upset and Professor Snape managed to convince you to take it"

"Professor Snape?"

"Yes, I know its hard to believe but,"

"Should my ears be burning?" He questioned menacingly

"Not at all Professor, how can I help you?" smiled Madame Pomfrey sweetly

"Im merely here to tell Miss Granger, that Professor Dumbledore wants to see her as soon as she's discharged"

"Oh" said Hermione quickly as Madame Pomfrey continued

"Do you really think that, that's the best idea?"

"If you have issues, take it up with him not me, im merely the messenger, don't shoot the messenger, I believe the saying goes" He spoke to her with an air off respect

"Madame Pomfrey, if I may interrupt now, while Professor Snape is here, to get his professional opinion to, would it be possible if I could be discharged today? I think it would do me good to get out of here, where all I do is sit around all day brooding"

"No, not a chance"

Snape quirked an eyebrow "Miss Granger, if you don't eat or take your potions in here, then why would we possibly believe that you would take your potions outside of this wing, especially when you're in the head girl quarters by yourself, with no one there to make sure you do so?"

"I… I don't know"

Madame Pomfrey cut in "Miss Granger, if you think it will help you not being in here and you promise me that you will eat and take your potions then you can be discharged on the circumstance that I see you in the great hall for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day"

"I promise"

"Very well" she frowned "I'll do one more check up and then you can gather your stuff and leave"

This Hermione frowned at these checkups always caused pain, a few swishes of her wand later and prodding here and there making sure her wounds were clean,

"Okay, everything seems to be in order, you can go"

"Thank you Madame Pomfrey"

"It's okay dear, just take care of yourself"

"I will" she smiled, and as soon as Madame Pomfrey left she crunched over in pain and waited for it to subside from her ribs before pulling a pink vest top on over her head and a purple cardigan with some jeans and grey pumps. Hesitantly putting her bag across her body and picking up her wand, she walked slowly towards the door when Harry came in, and they both froze at the sight of each other, He looked shocked and slightly horrified at how bad she looked, while Hermione was surprised at how bad he didn't look

"…Hermione, I'm… I'm so sorry"

"For what Harry? None of this was your fault, none of it"

"He died for me"

"No Harry. This isn't all about you, he had a family that he felt he had a duty to protect, and he loved them. Yes you were his friend and he respected you, but when it comes done to it, family always comes first Harry. Always."

"I didn't mean for anyone to die"

"I know, Harry, we all know, but they have, and they will, and im sorry but I can't do this right now"

"Hermione, please" he all most begged

"Harry, please, I know the Weasley will be really torn up about this, go talk to them, comfort them, show them you're not going to abandon them now Ron…. Now he's gone, I'll be fine, spend as much time with them as you and they need, tell them what they need to hear, I'll talk to them when we are all ready for it" she smiled weakly and pulled him in for a gentle yet caring hug "And take care of yourself yeah?"

"Yeah, you to Hermione, thank you"

Strolling down the corridors at no more than a snail's pace, Hermione headed towards Dumbledore's office the door swinging open before she could even knock

"I was being to worry that you wouldn't come" came Dumbledore's wise voice, his back to her

"And why is that Professor?"

"I had a horrible vision of you going, what's the word… rogue?"

"I assure you Professor, I won't go 'rogue' without a good explanation" her mind flashing back to her episode in the hospital wing

"Miss Granger, I truly am sorry, he was a truly great man and…"

"Look professor, im sorry, but I can't… I can't hear this right now… and im sorry but if this… this speech is your reason for summoning me here, then im afraid that we are done here and I am going to have to leave"

"Very well, Miss Granger, take care, look after yourself, we need you"

"Goodnight Professor"

"Goodnight Miss Granger" he said watching her leave, a very composed walk for someone in so much pain.

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><p><strong>AGAIN PLEASE R&amp;R IT WOULD BE MUCH APPRECIATED SOME PARTS OF THE STORY LINE AREN'T VERY STRONG SO FAR BUT IT'S JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO GE TO THE MAIN STORY QUICKLY :) NO OUT RIGHT HATING PLEASE<strong>


	3. Rant, Rant, Rant

It was the first potions lesson back after Ron's death and Hermione was dreading it, Harry was with the Weasley's so it was just her and the big empty worktable

"Miss Granger" Snape snapped for the third time "Do you know the answer to my question or were you to busy off in your dream land to hear me?"

"Sorry Professor" she mumbled rubbing her temple "I."

"Miss Granger, detention Saturday at 7, just because your friends with the 'chosen one' does not mean you can slack in my lessons"

"I know Professor but I assure you I was not slacking"

"Are you arguing with me Miss Granger?"

"No I."

"You what Miss Granger? Your sorry for being an insufferable little know it all, you're sorry for being part of the 'golden trio',"

"Yes well it's not the Golden Trio anymore is it!" she growled grabbing her bag and heading for the door

"Miss Granger, my office now, and don't even think about arguing, you will just make it so much worse for yourself" at this she slammed the door and stormed down the corridor to his office before sitting on the floor next to his door and silently fuming, the end of period bell rang and moments later Snape rounded the corner his cloaks billowing menacingly behind him, anyone else would have fled at the sight of him but Hermione just stood and faced him as he unlocked his door

"In" and she silently obeyed not knowing how much more she could take before she burst shutting the door behind him he rounded his desk and studied her intently "You haven't been taking your potions have you Miss Granger?" his voice almost civil but it still had its usual bored, snappy tone to it

"…. Yes"

"Do not lie to me Miss Granger!" he snapped "Why are you being so damn selfish! You nearly died hell Mr Weasley did die! And you're too busy moping around to realise that you're not the only one mourning and the people who care about you as well have enough on their plates without watching you wither away in front of their eyes, it's been two months and you're going to have to open up to the pain now otherwise it will be to late when it finally hits you and it will be so much worse, that there will be nothing anyone can do for you and we will all have to watch as you slowly wither away and there is nothing worse than that Miss Granger I'll tell you that now. I know it's hard but God damn it Miss Granger, you're going to have to pull yourself together, you are one of the most insufferable little know it all's I know, it's going to be difficult but I for one am not going to let you wither away and waste your potential, because it will infuriate me so much if you do."

"Oh so this has nothing to do with the fact that you generally care, no it's all about your emotional well being isn't it? You know not ONE person has asked me if im okay, and even if they did I would wonder if it's just me being snappy and they generally care or if their just asking me because of everything I've been through either way it would be nice. You know I may be being selfish but I've have never felt so alone in my life, and your telling me to 'face the pain' well I'll tell you now, if it hurts, this much, and im not taking the pain, then im not going to be able to cope with that pain by myself, and I don't know what to do Professor, so sorry, sorry for being off and sorry for not taking my potions but I feel like they are an easy way out of the pain, he died for me so I think it's only fair that I don't cheat in my recovery"

"Miss Granger?"

"What?" fighting back the tears

He swallowed his pride "How are you?"

"Professor?"

"Yes"

"Utterly and truly terrible Sir, how are you if I may be so bold to ask?"

"I am none of your concern"

"And what makes me your concern?"

"That fact that I am your teacher and it says in my contract if we see any student in distress or emotionally unstable we must intervene"

"You don't usually seem to care"

"Yes well it's because im usually the source of their distress"

Hermione smiled weakly, almost chuckling

"Miss Granger, I do believe, I've never seen a smile so sad"

"Oh" was all she said before getting an intense look of thought on her face. Snape left her for a couple of moments before breaking her line of thought, judging by the look on her face that it wasn't a pleasant one

"Miss Granger?"

"Yes Professor?"

A frown on his face "I think its best that you end that train of thought where it is"

"Yes, so do I Professor"…. "Professor?"

"Yes Miss Granger" he sighed

"It doesn't matter" she said sadly "I'll see you tonight for my detention" that's all she seemed these days, sad, her voice suggested that there was nothing to live for anymore, her hand reached for the door knob

"Destroy that which destroys you Miss Granger"

Her hand stopped in mid air "You see Professor I would," her back to him still "but I fear" turning she made eye contact "That would mean destroying myself" and at that very moment he had not once before understood her more than that very moment…. Turning on her heel she left, in disbelief that she may have just admitted her biggest insecurity to none other than Severus Snape.

A hammering on her door as Hermione laid face down burying her head in her pillow, brooding over everything, thinking, ignoring it, using the pillows to cover her ears as each hammer went through her, echoing in her head, making her headache worse. Silence a sigh of relief until the knocking was accompanied with a call from Madame Pomfrey "MISS GRANGER!" silence

"Poppy what an earth are you doing!" came Severus voice earning a whispered "shit" from Hermione

"Miss Granger, was not at dinner and she's refusing to come out of her room"

"It doesn't mean you can bang the castle down!" he growled "Now I have to sort this out because Dumbledore sent me to see what the disturbance was and to resolve it. I would expect it from a child not a grown woman…" he glared at her for a moment as if egging her on for a reply, his mood already foul "AND AS FOR YOU MISS GRANGER YOU BETTER OPEN THIS DOOR BEFORE I BLOW IT OFF IT'S HINGES, YOUR HEAD GIRL STATUS IS TAKEN AWAY, AND YOU HAVE A YEAR'S DETENTION WHICH I WILL PERSONALLY MAKE SURE ARE A LIVING HELL!"

"How dare you!" she growled swing open her door, "You have no right!"

"Oh Miss Granger I think you'll find I have every right! Especially since im the one that has to come down and sort this out! And it is my detention we will have to reschedule now because I have to personally escort you and make sure you eat something! Also now because of you! One of use will have to come down here, Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner, just to make sure you go! And because Madame Pomfrey needs to always be in the hospital wing it's going to have to be me! And frankly I don't have the time or the energy to be worrying about a selfish little girl who doesn't care about anyone else but herself!"

"Professor if I didn't care about anyone but myself then I wouldn't die inside every time some mentions Ronald Weasley, every time I see his empty seat, every bloody time the littlest things FUCKING REMINDS ME OF HIM, SO DON'T YOU DARE SAY I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE, IF I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE THEN I WOULDN'T BE FIGHTING IN THIS FUCKING WAR!"

Madame Pomfrey had a look on her face as if she had just been slapped,

"Miss Granger I am shocked to hear such language coming out of your mouth, and Professor I really think you should give her a break, if she gets too worked up she'll just have a relapse"

"Thank you for your input Poppy" he snapped "but I really don't think it's needed, I am perfectly capable of handling this situation by myself, now I believe you are suppose to be in the hospital wing tending to some people" his teeth gritted

"Severus I"

"Goodbye Poppy" he growled and she huffed before turning on her heel and leaving, knowing she would only aggravate him more if she stayed

"As for you Miss Granger, get down to the great hall right now!"

"HAVEN'T YOU LISTENED TO ANYTHING I'VE SAID" she said pain visible in her eyes before saying quietly "I can't professor, I can't go down there, I just can't and im sorry, im sorry for being weak but I can't" the tears begging to escape her eyes

He immediately calmed down as she turned around to hide the tear that escaped her eye, he struggled to keep his voice stiff with his usual bored uncaring tone to it, this girl had an effect that no other did, he put it down to her being in so much pain, she was too young to be broken like he was, yet here she was, broken and hurting

"Miss Granger?"

"Yes Professor" she said her voice strained as she tried not to let it crack

"What can we do to make it easier for you?" he voice lacked his usual venom

"You can understand the fact that I can't go down to the great hall but I don't want to eat by myself, you can support me and not give me a hard time for being upset and not myself, you can help me get motivated and you can talk to me because I know you understand"

"Those are all things I can do though"

"I know professor"

"But why?"

"Because I feel like you're the only one here who actually understands how I feel, and will tell me the truth"

"Miss Granger, im not playing your mentor, no matter what the situation"

"I don't want you to play mentor." She almost snapped "I just need someone who understands how I feel. Who's been through what I have. Even if there not willing to open up or be there for me as I cry. To just know that there is another human being on this earth who feels the same way as me is enough."

"Miss Granger"

"Look im sorry Professor, it was a stupid idea, I'll talk to Dumbledore about alternative arrangements"

"Im afraid, if this 'stupid idea' helps and Dumbledore hears about it. Then there will be no other alternative Miss Granger. Do you know what sort of situation you've put me in here, I promised him I would report anything you say to me that could hint towards something that can help, we all did but now that means spending so much more time with an insufferable little know it all" he sighed

"Why are you acting differently?"

"Differently in what way Miss Granger?"

"You're talking to me, almost civilly, like im a normal person, not someone you can speak down to because you look down on us all day making mistakes in your classroom"

"Well I think I'd have to be a pretty horrible person to treat you any differently due to current circumstances. Don't you?" he was taunting her and he was enjoying it

She hesitated "Yes sir, I do think you would have to be" she was slightly confused and her brow was beginning to furrow "Anyway as I was saying Professor, I'll go and talk to Dumbledore and sort something out"

"Very well" he growled and turned violently on his heel "This way" he gestured and strolled out the door, his cloak billowing menacingly behind him. Hermione trailed behind him, walking only as fast as her ribs would let her. "Hurry up girl!"

"Im sorry Professor but I think you're forgetting who has the huge gash and at least 4 breaks and 6 fractures on their ribs here"

"Well you wouldn't have that issue if you drank your potions would you?" He snapped

"Professor, I would because…"

He cut her off "Frankly Miss Granger I don't care, you have gotten me in a situation that I cannot get out of and I do not enjoy being in it, so will you just do us all I favour and be quiet" Hermione sighed her temper bubbling just beneath the surface, what was happening to her? Why was she snapping so easily and talking back to teachers it wasn't like her, she put it down to the grief

Arriving a Dumbledore's office Hermione tidied her uniform, tucking her shirt in and tightening her tie, she better had at least make an effort for him, Snape saw her out the corner of his eye "I think your uniform is the last thing on his mind"

"Yes it's called respect Professor"

"And where is your respect for me?"

"I do have respect for you sir, it's just well," she blushed "We were arguing and it was in my own quarters"

"Humph" he growled as Dumbledore's door swung open admitting them

"I've been expecting you Miss Granger but why are you here Professor?" he said gesturing to the seats in front of his desk

"She's been…." He began as he sat "Let's say, neglecting the rules"

"Miss Granger is this true?"

"It's not what you think; it's just I….. I broke a promise I made Professor Snape and Madame Pomfrey and I feel terrible about it but I just couldn't face it"

"Face what?"

"Going to the great hall for food"

"Why not, Miss Granger?"

"Because he's not there, neither is Harry or Ginny or any of the Weasley's, and I…. I feel so alone among all those people, all I can see when I go down there is the three of us and I can't do it Professor"

"And what about you're Potions Miss Granger?"

She sat a little straighter "What of them?"

"Have you been taking them?"

She took a breath beginning to lie "Of" before slumping slightly; trying to avoid aggravating her ribs further "No, I haven't"

"And why not Miss Granger?"

"Because I feel like they are an easy way out of the pain, he died for me, the least I can do is not cheat in my recovery"

"The least you can do is look after yourself"

"I am" she almost snapped but only almost

"Your neglecting your medicine"

"Im not neglecting anything Sir. I am simply opting for the Muggle way of healing. I am Muggle born after all"

"Say his name Miss Granger"

"What?" she asked, thrown off guard.

"Say his name, name the boy who died for you"

There was silence in which Hermione opened her mouth several times before closing it, swallowing on a very dry throat and forcing out "Ronald Weasley" tears springing to her eyes at the very mention of the name and that seemed to be enough for Dumbledore

"Professor you will have to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner with Miss Granger in either hers or your quarters, make sure she is healing properly, and keep her company for the meals and when else she needs it, im sure Miss Granger can help you with some of your work burden"

"Professor I appreciate the gesture, but is there not someone else who could perhaps do it? It just, I know Professor Snape isn't particularly fond of me or the idea of spending more time with me then necessary"

"No there is no one else" said Dumbledore his voice strong but had not lost its friendliness, this immediately sparked Snape's interest 'he has hidden plans, that senile old man'

"Professor will you escort Miss Granger back to her room and make sure she eats her dinner, maybe a potion if you can persuade her as well" he said shooting a warm smile at Hermione. He stood without a word except "Miss Granger" to summon her before turning towards the door with a swish of his cloaks and leaving

* * *

><p><strong>the same as always :)<strong>


	4. Pointless Meetings, And Near Encounters

Trailing down the corridor behind Snape, Hermione ignored the whispers and the looks she got as the few stragglers from dinner, who were hanging around in the corridors, she was so glad she had her own room otherwise she would have had to endure this on a much larger scale for a much longer period of time. Noticing the whispering Snape dropped back so he was walking next to Hermione and it stopped immediately

Hermione whispered "Thank you" and he just nodded stiffly, matching his pace with hers

Snape placed a plate of food in front of her, before sitting opposite her and taking in the room, to his left she had a fireplace of black marble with two worn red armchairs (the ones they were sitting on) tilted towards it, one either side, and a matching worn red sofa facing directly at the fire, the floor was black carpet and there were books resting on one her small tables next to the armchairs, one was open with a ribbon holding her place while they all had worn spines, tell tale signs of books that had been red often. To the right of the fireplace there was a heavy dark wood door that was slightly cracked open it lead to what he supposed was her bedroom. To his right there was a basic kitchen of black marble. He smirked at how obvious the added bookcases were, (he knew they were added because they were crammed anywhere and everywhere they could fit). Hermione stood hesitantly as her ribs were stiff and hurt more.

"Excuse me Miss Granger"

"Yes professor" she said crossing her fingers

"Get back here and finish that meal"

She sighed as she sat down

"Miss Granger I didn't take you for one to break the rules"

"Professor im sorry to say I have broken many a school rules"

"Yes but I just supposed Potter and Weasley forced you into it" he noticed her breath catch slightly at the use of his name

"Why?" She asked "Don't you think I can stand up for myself?"….. "I do have a spine you know. Unlike many and im not afraid to use it"

"I don't doubt that you do, but people do ridiculous things to avoid being alone"

"So are you saying you think I thought that they wouldn't have been my friends or cared about me if I didn't go with the flow?"

"That's exactly what im saying Miss Granger"

"Im not explaining myself to you" she growled standing

"You don't need to explain anything Miss Granger" he said watching her put her dish in the sink and slowly turning to face him

"I don't?"

"No"

"Is that because you don't care and you don't want to hear it? Or because you know?"

"It's because I know Miss Granger, and I won't be answering any questions on that matter"

"Okay Professor" she nodded, the fact that she didn't interrogate him further and she must have sensed this "You know, im not the irritating little know it all you think I am" she stated matter of factly

"Humph, I'll believe that when I see it"

"Very well" she sighed

That night Hermione had a troubled sleep, at first she dreamt of a shadow coming over her, kissing her, letting its hands roam, what worried her was how strangely happy she felt in this dream, the happiness then very quickly turned into fear, the shadow on her hands into crimson, the rest into Ron's body, next to his laid Harry's and Ginny's their hands millimetres form each other outstretched, next was Sirius, then Tonks and Lupin in an embrace, then the rest of the Weasley's and the order among them laid her parent's. Here in front of her laid everyone she ever cared about, their bodies broken, she screamed collapsing to her knees before beginning to weep.

"Miss Granger" came Snape's voice, his hand on her shoulder, shaking her out of her slumber

She woke gasping for air and tears streaming down her face, a gut wrenching sob issuing from her mouth before she control herself, rolling over and weeping into her pillow, Snape's arm reached out but then he pulled it back in, and fetched her calming potion from the side

"Miss Granger drink this" he ordered, she shook her head, taking deep rattling breaths as she tried to calm herself "You don't need to prove you don't need potions you silly girl, now drink it before you hurt yourself!"

She choked out "No" it took her several moments to calm herself enough to stand and act composed but Snape had to catch her as he fell towards him, stumbling from the pain in her ribs.

"Do you want a pain potion for that?" he said smirking at how they both knew he was right

"No thank you Professor" she said smirking back not moving from leaning on him

"Miss Granger your being ridiculous, now take the potion before I give you a month's detention"

She sighed and gulped it down,

"How are you ribs doing?"

"I don't know" she admitted

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I mean, I don't know, I haven't looked at it since I got back from the hospital wing"

"Why you silly little girl!"

"I break down, you probably think it's a pathetic thing to cry over, but it just brings back so many memories"

"You're going to have to look at it one day" he said matter of factly

"I know, I just don't intend to any time soon"

"In that case you need to go to Madam Pomfrey for a check up"

"Since when have you started to care?" she snapped "I am not going back there she just causes me more pain"

He huffed "Stay here and eat something, I'll be back in a minute and Miss Granger, don't even bother lying to me about whether you have eaten or not because I will know and eating will seem easy compared to what I will make you do…. Actually considering the state you were just in come with me and we will eat later"

"Don't you trust me?"

"It wasn't a choice it was an order now get moving" he growled and headed towards Dumbledore's office

"Please, professor, I'll have a shower and then you'll be back, it will save you from waiting to eat, we can eat as soon as we come back"

"No, it's not an option now come with me Miss Granger, don't make me use force" he spun around and she almost walked into him

"You wouldn't"

"Really Miss Granger, do you really want to find out?" his whole body inches from hers

A tiny part of her wanted to say yes, wanted to find out if he would, but then the other part of her knew it wasn't wise to test him, especially not this early in the morning and he knew this, so with a sigh she shook her head slightly

"Now there's a good girl" he growled patronizingly and spun beginning to walk again, 'oh this was going to be a fun day' Hermione thought sarcastically trailing behind him half heartedly, thinking about curling up on her sofa in front of the fire, with a blanket and a coffee, she wasn't a hot chocolate girl anymore, ever since Ron died, they always use to have hot chocolate's together late at night at the Weasley's, the kind with whipped cream and marsh mallows, with chocolate sprinkled over the top, watching the sun set, with a blanket over their shoulders, and staying up much later than anyone, sat on the steps to the Weasley's garden, cuddling. How bittersweet it all was, those times seemed like years ago, the world had changed so much since then. The one person she had ever truly loved had been ripped away from her since then. From his family. From his friends. She just felt like screaming at the top of her lungs. Why? What did he ever do to you? What did any of them ever do to you! Why did you let this happen! How could you stand there all high and mighty and let him die! She's not sure who she wanted to shout it to, put she knew she needed to. Snape turned around to check on her, and the look in her eyes was enough to break anyone's heart, no one should be so young yet so broken, no one should be so scarred, no one should have to witness that, no one any age should experience even half the pain she is but they are and they do, he rounded and walked next to her staying at her pace.

In a very unsnapeish manner he swallowed his pride once more, made sure no one was near and asked almost caringly, but only almost "Are you okay Miss Granger?"

She started out of train of thought, extremely teary eyed, glanced over at him and smiled weakly before nodding, almost crying but holding in the tears, just, using all of her self control to push away the tears, steadying her voice before saying "Im just a little tired" and by the looks of her she was more than just a little tired

"Miss Granger, you screamed in your sleep last night" he stated matter of factly and watched the embarrassment wash over her,

"Oh…..I….I just…..It must…." She couldn't think of anything to say "I screamed…. I mean in the dream I was having….. Everyone….. They were all lied out dead in front of me…..it was horrible" a tear escaping her eye

"If that's a dream, I would hate to know what your nightmares are like" he smirked trying to ease the tension and she smiled lightly "Yes so would I" they were on the steps to Dumbledore's office now and the lack of sleep and food from the past few days was beginning to catch up on her, the spinning of the stairs making her feel slightly light headed, she subconsciously leaned against Snape a little and he frowned "You should have ate before we came out"

"You should have ate before we came out" she frowned back, she preferred this Snape but knew he wouldn't stay for long, he shook his head in disbelief, frowning "Now you're just getting to comfortable around me"

"Sorry Professor" she said standing as the stairs came to a stop and he raised his hand to knock on Dumbledore's door

"Will he be up this early on a Sunday?" asked Hermione curiously

"Don't be silly girl of course he will be, he's the headmaster" he snapped 'ah there was the Snape she knew, or at least a glimpse of him'

The door swung open and admitted them in "Ah Professor Snape, to what do I owe this pleasure? And I see you've brought Miss Granger along to?" he said inclining his head to her and she smiled slightly back

"What is it I can help you with?" his wise voice asked

"Miss Granger is the topic of conversation once more"

"Oh and why is that?" he asked glancing towards Hermione whose head had dropped slightly and seemed to be suddenly very interested in his table leg

"She can't seem to bring herself to look at her ribs herself, as it brings back to many memories but she will not go to Madame Pomfrey for a check up, and I know this seems petty considering the state of things, but if her ribs get infected, it will eventually spread to her heart and we may not see it in time to stop it from, inevitably killing her"

"Why won't you go to Madame Pomfrey Miss Granger?"

She looked up at him "Don't get me wrong Professor she is an amazing doctor, and I appreciate everything she's been doing for me but she examines in a way that is thorough but extremely painful"

"Ah I see"

Snape's voice came again as Dumbledore surveyed her over his half moon spectacles "So is there anyone else that could examine her?"

"Professor, you know the answer to that, no one else has the experience other than you and Madame Pomfrey"

"What about Professor McGonagall?" asked Hermione

"She is an extraordinary witch, but alas she doesn't have the knowledge in medicine that Professor Snape does"

"Oh"

"Professor Snape, you may be a man, but if you get to the muggle doctors, or even some wizarding ones, men do look after and examine women"

He frowned "Very well, I sincerely hope we haven't wasted your time to much" he sneered sarcastically and stood leaving Hermione trailing behind

"Well that was the biggest, waste of my time" he growled partially forgetting Hermione was there 'and pathetic' he added in his head, 'if I knew he was going to allow that I would have just examined her in the first place!' he needed a distraction before he fumed too much and Hermione gave him that distraction at just the right time

"So…What are we having for breakfast?"

Whoa, she really had been hanging around with Potter and Weasley to much "I don't know Miss Granger….. What do you want for breakfast?"

"Im not sure Professor, not a lot im not really hungry, I don't really have an appetite" she said pulling the chain she kept her key on from down her top and Snape quirked his eyebrow

"Miss Granger, why…"

"I won't lose it; no one can find it, no one will accidently come across it and no one knows it's there, so im trusting you to keep it quiet and not tell anyone"

"I didn't intend to, why would I?"

"Maybe the question should be why wouldn't you?"

"Well you certainly have a different way of looking at things"

"You have to be able to look at things differently" she said matter of factly as she opened the door "From both sides, then and only then can you gather all the information" she said

"You sound like Lupin" intense dislike in his voice as he closed the door

She collapsed on the sofa and laid her head against the back of the seat, closing her eyes

"You say that like it's a bad thing"

"Humph" he grunted and went to the kitchen, Hermione summoned a blanket and wrapped it around herself curling up on the sofa in front of the fire,

"Here" Snape said handing her a brew of some sort, Hermione raised her eyebrow, "I haven't poisoned it, it's just a calming tea,"

"What makes you think I need calming?" she snapped "Oh right sorry, im just tired" she replied to the I told you so look on his face

"Drink it" he said handing it to her, "It will help, then try and sleep…. I'll make some food and if you're asleep by the time it's done I'll save it for later"

"Okay, thank you Professor" she said sipping from it while gazing into the fire, he handed her a plate of bacon, egg, buttered bread and took her cup off her, "I didn't know what you wanted, you don't have to eat it all, just eat as much as you can"

"And what about you?"

"I'm having the same as you" he said sitting down on the armchair across from her

"I'll move if you want to sit on here"

"No, you stay there" he said

"Ah right of course sorry, to close for comfort and all that"

"I assure you Miss Granger, I have been closer than opposite ends of the sofa with people and have still been more than comfortable" a smirk playing at the edge of his mouth

A million thoughts raced through her head, so did a million sentences and she choose one she thought was safe "That's not necessarily anything to be proud of Professor" a slight disapproving tone to her voice

"Okay, Miss Granger, maybe your right, but pray tell me, how many men have you been with?" he was out to get her, but she didn't know why he had been perfectly okay a minute ago

"I really don't think that's any of your business" she snapped, blushing, she didn't know where this conversation came from or why she was having it with Snape of all people, all she knew was it was making her rather uncomfortable

"Hmmm I thought so" he smirked enjoying how much this was torturing her

"What do you mean I thought so?" she questioned

"I mean, I thought you hadn't been with anyone, and do you know why I thought that?"

"Oh do enlighten me" she snapped

"Because you shy away from boys and any advances they make, you wear your uniform perfectly, your skirt is never higher than it should be, the mere subject makes you blush"

"It does not!" she exclaimed he was basically calling her a fridge, how dare he! "You certainly know how to charm a lady don't you"

"Oh Miss Granger, im not trying to charm you, if I were you would be in my bed before you knew it" he was cocky

"Not everything has to end up being in bed!" she exclaimed "Anyway, what's saying no one can charm you?"

"Because my feelings have been surgically removed Miss Granger, and locked in a place where no one can touch them"

"Well if every so called charming session ends up in bed then there will be no need for feelings will there, just pure lust!" she exclaimed, outraged at his lack of respect for others, even if it was just a mask, she stood slamming her plate into the sink before storming into her room calling "Im having a shower" over her shoulder

Stripping she suddenly became very much aware that there was a man sat in her living room, her potions master none the less, flicking her wand at the door she locked it and stepped into the shower, letting the warm water flow over her muscles slowly relaxing them one by one, that man had an effect on her, good or bad she wasn't sure, all she knew was that if he tried enough, she wouldn't be able to move, except towards him, and she hoped that didn't happen, already feeling guilty for thinking that so soon after Ron, It had only been two months after all, she physically shook her head and distracted herself by washing her hair, and herself, avoiding looking at or feeling her half healed scar, she should of just took the damn potions, it would have been healed over by now and the pain would be much less. Stepping out she turned her back to the mirror and dried her hair with a flick of her wand, before wrapping her towel around herself and realising that she had forgot clean clothes "Oh shit" she whispered to herself unlocking the door and bee lining straight for her underwear draw grapping her green lacy knickers and the bra to match, which was made of silk more than lace, before running back to the bathroom and putting them on feeling slightly more relaxed she wrapped her towel around her once more before walking out of the bathroom, grabbing some jeans she pulled them on before flicking her wand at her towel which dried and flew to the hook on the back of the bathroom door, running her eyes over her wardrobe, Snape cleared his throat from the door way and Hermione spun around blushing at the state he had caught her in

"I just came to remind you that I would be checking your ribs after you shower, I was going to shout through the door, but obviously I don't need to"

"Oh okay" she said grabbing a vest top and jumper from the cupboard "Um top on or off?" she asking blushing a little more and Snape raised his eyebrow

"If im looking at your ribs what do you think Miss Granger?"

"Your right, it was a stupid question, im sorry" she said shaking her head, holding herself straight, chest out and chin up, trying to act as if being topless in front of a man didn't bother her at all, thinking back to the conversation they had before she stormed off to her shower, Snape seemed to be thinking this to

"Miss Granger, if it will make this easier for you, I didn't mean any of what I said before, it sickens me, what the death eaters do, but I just have to act like it doesn't and by acting that way all the time, it just makes it easier to slip into role straight away, okay." He said in a very tight voice, obviously not willing to open up anymore, struggling to open up as much as he did, Hermione nodded her head, appreciating that, and he saw her visibly relax, her chest still rising and falling slightly faster than usually, she tried to calm her breathing, closing her eyes, she heard him step towards her and she kept her eyes closed, as he placed his hand on her stomach,

"Take a deep breath for me" he said and she did her chest rising, "And out" but her ribs fell what looked like unevenly, but really they had just healed wrong, she opened her eyes when she felt his hand leave her stomach, her skin almost burning from where it had been, to find him bent down, studying her ribs intently, before pulling his wand and muttering a spell then standing

"How is it?"

"It's not infected and I cast a spell, so the cut should be fully healed by the morning, you will have a scar, but you will get use to it over time, but some of your ribs have healed unevenly, because you obviously haven't listened to a word we have said"

"Oh…. So does that mean they are going to be re broken?"

"Yes"

"Oh" she moaned and pushed her hair out of her face "Will you do it?"

"What?"

"Will you do it now?"

"Madame Pomfrey has all the pain killers strong enough"

"I am not going back to her, I can't be doing with the rants she has, please Professor?" she almost pleaded

"Okay, lay down" he ordered, rolling his eyes at her stubbornness "Ready?"

She nodded and with a flick over his wand she heard her ribs crack before she actually felt it, taking a deep breath, and biting her lip to hold in the scream, drawing blood, he flicked his wand "Brackeo emendo" and they healed she laid there for a while scared to move and Snape couldn't help but notice her chest, and the way it rose and fell with each breathe, he looked away, mentally slapping himself before grabbing her a loose shirt from her wardrobe and throwing it at her,

"I'd stick with loose clothes for now just to be safe"

"Okay" she nodded sitting slowly and sliding her arms into the shirt, doing it up hesitantly before standing, "Thank you"

He just nodded before turning and leaving, the blush Hermione had somehow managed to hold back, flooded to her cheeks "Oh my God, my Professor just saw me topless, and it was Professor Snape, what the hell have I come to? I should not have to have some here to look after me, to make sure I eat, to make sure I heal properly, to make sure I look after myself, I despise this me, but right now this is all I can be, he would despise me, especially the part of me Snape has control over"

SSPOV

He was sat reading a book, his thoughts straying back to the Granger girl every now and then before he reined them back in, hearing her enter he chose to ignore her, or at least until she had buried her head in his chest and being weeping madly into it, God he was confused, he placed the book on the side, pages down as to hold his page, and hesitantly put one arm around her, before the other arm followed…. He was hugging her! What the hell was wrong with him? Why was he acting so unsnapeish? Maybe he was coming down with something

HGPOV

a tear running down her cheek Hermione saw Snape sat on the sofa a book in one hand the other resting along the top of the sofa, she bee lined straight for him sat next to him, burying her head in his chest and before he could question what she was doing, she started weeping into him, expecting to be pushed away, she was shocked when his arm wrapped around her…. And if that wasn't enough the other one soon followed, relaxing, she completely feel apart in this man's arms, gasping for air every now and then as to fuel her sobs, her throat burned and her lungs screamed out but she couldn't stop, her whole body shook furiously from the force of her sobs, and the amount of pain in them surprised Snape, he just supposed, she would find it hard but would get on with it, not that it would cause her this much pain, but then again the wiser you are the more you hurt because the more you know, she cried for about an hour and not once did Snape leave her side, he could remember the days when he needed to cry to someone like this but he had no one, and he knew how horrible that was, sometimes even though he would never admit it, he still did need someone to cry like that to.

"Im so sorry Professor, it's just I…" she said pulling away so she was sat next to him, he just nodded, silently telling her it was okay, God she was hurting, and he could relate to her, her pain was reminding him of the pain he had locked away so many years ago, to only bring out on certain occasions or days

"Who was there…. When they were trying to save him?"

"Lupin, Tonks, Molly and Arthur but we had to take them away, Sirius, Dumbledore, and Kingsley"

"Did Molly and Arthur, see him…?"

"Yes"

"Oh God"…"Will the pain ever go away?"

"Miss Granger, im going to be honest, the pain will never fully go away, but it will become easier to deal with"

"Oh"

"But you won't be alone through this process and even though you may feel extremely alone, you will never be, you will have your moments of vulnerability and your strength will waver, and you will cry like there is nothing left for you in this world, but you are oh so wrong to think that, trust me"

"I do" she whispered

"You do?" he asked I his bored voice but he was actually shocked and pleasantly surprised at the same time

"Yes, I don't believe in Harry's petty hatred towards you, I think that underneath that mask of yours, there is a good man, but you just don't show him, to anyone"

"Have you ever thought that you look for good where no exists?" he asked his hand coming up and subconsciously brushing the hair from her face,

"I believe I do sometimes yes" she said ignoring how that simple gesture made her suddenly feel nervous and her heart beat a little faster "But I believe people act to protect themselves and the ones they care about, and I also believe if you help people early enough then they can be saved from falling into complete darkness"

"And what do you believe about me?"

"I believe that you are a man who has seen many things, and has had not an easy life, who has also made some decisions he regrets greatly, and that under the mask you wear, there is a good man, and nothing you can say will change that, because you kind of just proved me right?"

"How did I?" he frowned

"You brushed the hair from my face" she admitted

"Oh and how did that make you feel?"

"I'd rather not say"

"Oh?" he asked raising an eyebrow

"Oh, no. I just meant, honestly, it made me feel, nice, I guess, but nervous, and guilty" both their stomachs clenched at the word nice

"Why guilty?"

"Because of Ron" she glanced out the side of her eye at him to see a questioning look on his face "I just feel like another person should make me feel nice again so soon, and I know nothing is happening and this all merely comfort also that you'll be back to yourself by tomorrow but still…."

"Still you feel like you shouldn't be able to feel anything else except the pain you do?"

"Yes" she sighed "But that was the first time I have felt nice and it was so good to feel like that, and I want to grasp those moments and hold on to them with both hands, but then I let go because I feel it isn't right…. I forgot how that even felt"

"No one your age should forget what feeling nice feels like" he stated matter of factly with a frown on his face

"Neither should anyone your age, no one should"

"You honestly believe that?"

"Yes I do"

"What about Voldemort?"

"Even though he deserves to forget, I believe he experiences his nice, from other forms… Bellatrix defiantly obsesses over him" she said a look of intense disapproval on his face

"Usually when girls mention other girls names in that way it's because they are jealous, please tell me you are not?"

"No defiantly not!" she exclaimed and laughed in disbelief "I have no idea what she sees in him"

"I believe she truly is crazy Miss Granger"

"I believe so Professor"

A few minutes passed and Snape still had his arm around Hermione not wanting to move in case that was what she needed

"How can you do this?" He asked "I mean, sit so close, be so close to me and seem so comfortable?"

"Because I am comfortable, I know you won't hurt me and I trust you"

"Have you ever thought that maybe you shouldn't trust me?"

Hermione rolled her head to the side on his shoulder; she could see the profile of his face but the thing she noticed the most were his lips, they were perfectly shaped and soft, gentle looking, extremely distracting "Maybe, have you ever thought you shouldn't trust me?"

He smirked and turned his head, not realising how close her face was, millimetres from each other he smirked "Maybe" looking at each other's lips,

"I… Im going to go for a walk a need to get some air clear my head… do you want to come with or do you need to catch up on work?"

"I need to catch up on work, I'll be in my office if you need me" he said slipping slowly into the role of teacher once more

"Okay Professor, I will come and find you when I am back, let you know im okay"

"Very well" he said holding the door for her "Goodbye Professor"

"Goodbye Miss Granger" he nodded and they parted their separate ways

* * *

><p><strong>Please r&amp;r, let me know honestly what you think, to a limit, constructive criticism is welcome but no outright hating please :) thank you<strong>


	5. Fun, isn't always good

Hermione strolled the corridors, thinking about what had just happened she felt terrible but Snape had an effect over her, she could have sworn if she hadn't moved she would have kissed him, he is my Professor For god sakes! Walking down to the lake she sat by the side, watching the water lap at the edges every so often as the giant squid appeared as if to say hello and make sure she was okay. The sun began to set so Hermione made her way back up to the castle, not realising just how late she was until she reached the castle and found the corridors deserted. Heading towards Snape's office, she was about a 5 minute walk away when a hand seized her from a dark crevice and pulled her in, a hand covering her mouth and her hand automatically went to her wand but their other hand stopped it.

Her eyes adjusting "Malfoy! What the hell are you doing?"

"I got bored, decided to stroll the corridors, see who I could have a little fun with" he smirked

"Fun?"

"Yes Granger fun, you know the meaning of the word" he pushed her tighter against the wall, before forcing his lips onto hers, his hands at her hips pushing her up the wall, his leg between hers stopping her from moving she pulled away from him but he followed so she bit his lip

"Oh you're a feisty little Mudblood aren't you" He growled forcing himself upon her once more, she pretend to kiss back and he bit her lip drawing blood, reaching down between them Malfoy thought she was going for his belt buckle so he moved and she seized her wand and pushed it to his stomach forcing him away

"Well well well Granger" he growled "Maybe I underestimated you"

"That's your fault then isn't it" she growled before slapped him and trying to run to Snape's office but Draco was too fast and he grabbed her wrist before slamming her against the wall, she heard a sickening crack and was momentarily dazed, coming back to her senses to find Draco's face millimetres from hers and arm either side of her and his leg between hers there was no way out of this one, he grabbed her wand and threw it across the corridor, before crushing his lips to hers, forcing her mouth open with his tongue before trying to wrestle a response from hers, he pulled away before growling "The more you fight this the worse it will be for you"

"It's a shame for you that im not fighting it then isn't it?" she growled back

"Okay smart ass. The more you resist the worse it will be" he growled forcing his lips to hers once more, his body so close there was no way she was getting out of this one, his tongue was almost down her throat so she had to kiss back before she suffocated, making sure she was rough biting his lip and tugging on it slightly, but he only found this to be a great turn on pushing his groin into hers so she could feel the growing hardness in his pants…

SSPOV

Snape glanced at the clock, it was nearing midnight and Hermione still hadn't came to see him "That blasted girl" he snapped violently pushing his chair away from his desk leaving an essay half marked before storming through the halls off Hogwarts, he rounded a corner and the scene before him forced him to a stop, Malfoy had Hermione pined against the wall, one hand on her ass pulling her closer and the other tangled in her hair, while Hermione had a hand on his shirt to seemingly pull him closer and the other in his hair, and there was no doubt about it, Malfoy was extremely aroused.

Snape cleared his throat and they all but had a heart attack, Malfoy jumped away from her and Hermione gathered her wand from the bottom of the wall opposite before turning to look at Snape trying to convey the message by just looking at him

"Mr Malfoy get back to the Slytherin common room now. Do not let me see or hear of you being out again. Miss Granger my office now"

"Yes sir" Malfoy smirked before turning to Hermione and whispering in her ear "I'll finish with you later"

She pulled away and stalked past Snape into his office and he followed slamming the door before turning on her "Would you like to explain what I have just seen?"

"It's not what you think Professor"

"Oh isn't it Miss Granger. Because what I think is that you and Mr Malfoy just had you tongues down each other's throats! And you seemed to be enjoying yourself immensely! And if im suppose to be helping you, getting frisky with Malfoy isn't a good way to help yourself!"

"I was coming to see you when he jumped me and pulled me into a hole in the wall behind a wall hanging then he shoved me against the wall and tried to kiss me but I got my wand and slapped him before trying to get here, but he is a lot faster than I thought! And he caught up with me and threw me against the wall which a smacked my head against and before I could come to my senses I was stuck there and he threatened me, he said if I resisted it would be a lot worse for me, so I kissed him back, hoping for an opportunity to get away but it didn't arise until you came in"

"Why was your hand in his hair and on his shirt pulling him closer then? Explain that!"

"To make sure he kept his distance!" she exclaimed grabbing his cloak before spinning and pulling him so he as holding her against the wall "This is how I held Malfoy" she said twisting her fist slightly so it looked like she was pulling him closer but really she was holding him away "And this is how I would hold someone I want closer" she said shifting her wrist his body suddenly such much closer to hers before she pushed him away "Do you believe me now!" annoyed that no one seemed to believe her these days

"Yes Miss Granger" he said before noticing her lip "I take it he's rough then is he?" he asked while gesturing to where the cut was but on his own lip

Her hand came up and wiped away some blood before pointing her wand at it and healing it, "Yes he is Professor, but I deserved it I bit him first, I thought if I was bit him and was rough he would hesitate for a second, then I would have a chance but I was wrong, he just got extremely turned on"

"Well what did you expect?"

"I don't know… im tired and I don't particularly want to walk the corridors again by myself tonight, I know I shouldn't ask but will you escort me to my quarters please?"

"Yes" he said

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><p>Arriving at the door to Hermione's quarters she unlocked the door before turning to him "Thank you and I would appreciate it if we could keep this incident between us and Malfoy please"<p>

"Yes, don't worry I intend to have the memory surgically removed from my mind"

She smiled "Thank you Sir, Goodnight, I will see you in the morning for breakfast"

"Goodnight Miss Granger, it would probably be wise to take a dreamless sleep potion tonight and I will wake you in the morning"

"Very well" she nodded before entering her quarters and heading straight to her bedroom where she changed into her night gown, took a dreamless sleep potion and drifted into sleep

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><p><strong>Please r&amp;r this chapter is pretty much seeing how Snape would react to seeing Hermione with someone else, especially someone like Malfoy in a situation as compromising as that :)<strong>


	6. Surprisingly soft lips

Snape broke through Hermione's wards to wake her up in the morning, strolling to her bedroom door he knocked lightly before entering; she had a grand double bed, intricate carvings all the way up the poles that held up her bed canopy which was made of dark wood just like all over her bed, the covers and pillows were black satin, but the underside of the cover was a deep blood red colour, the pillows were black and the whole thing complimented itself nicely, she had a dark wood desk and a dark wood chester draws while the carpet was a deep red, and the walls were a Victorian style red wall paper, and of course there were dark wood bookcases were ever she could fit them. Apart from the bookcases cram packet full of books, Hermione's room was nothing at all like he expected, walking hesitantly over to her, he placed his hand on her shoulder and shook her gently to wake her up, up against that bedding she looked quite pale and the dark circles under her eyes stood out even more than usual, opening her eyes, her first rather sleepy words were "How did you get in here?"

"I broke into your wards, but don't worry I put them up and made them stronger"

"Oh" she mumbled "Thank you"

"Now get up" he ordered "You have to eat breakfast and you have lessons again today"

This earned a grown from her which shocked him, God she really must be mourning he stood and headed for the kitchen where he whipped himself up a coffee while thinking I might as well make her one to, he was being too nice to her, he needed to grumpy up and nice down, she came out of her bedroom her hair tamed as Snape turned to hand her the coffee he had made his chin almost hit the floor, She had a brown muggle nightgown on that ended dangerously high up on her thighs, the front had 3 buttons that she had undone revealing enough to distract anyone but hiding enough to leave a awful lot to the imagination, his gaze lingered to long but he wasn't sure he noticed as he handed her the coffee and turned his back on her,

"Oh Professor?"

"Yes Her, Miss Granger" he covered up his slip up and prayed she wouldn't notice

"I have a free period for the first to lessons so I will probably just stay in my room"

"Okay, unlike you some of us have to work, so I will see you for double potions after break"

"Yes Professor" she said returning to sipping her coffee and gazing at the fire

"Oh and Miss Granger, I may check on you at the start of break so if you and Mr Malfoy intend to have anymore run ins I would appreciate it if you were finished by then"

"I wasn't intending on it" she snapped "But thank you for the idea, I was wondering what I could do if I got bored"

"Are you aware of the sort of trouble you could get in if you get involved with Malfoy?" he snapped and she stood throwing her cup into the sink before spinning to face him as he leant against the counter trying to control his temper

"Are you aware of the sort of trouble you could get in for checking out a student?"

"I did not check you out Miss Granger!"

"Oh really Professor, that's why your chin nearly hit the floor as soon as your saw me!"

"Oh don't flatter yourself Miss Granger!" he growled stepping towards her

"Don't lie to me, how am I suppose to trust you if you lie!"

"I am not lying Miss Granger! What do you want me to say! That I want to ravish you!"

"If that's the truth then yes"

"Well it's not Miss Granger, I will see you for double potions, goodbye" he snapped

"Goodbye" she snapped before storming into her bedroom and pulling on her school robes roaming the castle before being pulled into a dark alcove once more, his hands on her hips pinning her to the wall

"What do you want Malfoy?"

"The same thing that I got yesterday"

"Why don't you ask Pansky? Im sure she would be all but to happy to oblige"

"She doesn't, let's say, fully satisfy me" the back of his hand stroking her cheek "I need something more, someone more," his hand moving to her thigh "someone who doesn't throw herself at my feet, I need someone like you"

"Well you aren't getting me Malfoy" she said grabbing his hand

"That is exactly why I will make sure I get you, you are one of the only girls who denies me"

"It's because I despise you"

"I despise you to Granger, let's call it hatred with benefits" he smirked "But we will keep this are dirty little secret, no one will know"

"You're telling me you haven't told anyone about yesterday?"

"No"

"Oh of course how silly of me, why would you want people to find out about you fraternizing with a Gryffindor, a blood traitor, a muggle born and part of the so called Golden Trio"

"Exactly Granger… anyway what were you and Snape arguing about?"

"What are you on about? I haven't seen him today" she snapped

"Why was he coming this way looking like he had a storm brewing?" he questioned smirking, sure to have caught her

"I don't know" she snapped "Why do you hide in dark alcoves waiting for people to walk past when you are bored? These are the questions that keep me awake at night" she proclaimed sarcastically

"Oh so you think of me at night do you, when you're all alone, in your bed, I'd love to know the things you get up to"

"No shut up Malfoy!" she growled

"Where are we?"

"Somewhere where I can give you something to think about me by at night"

"Malfoy I don't get this we hate each other"

"We both know you don't hate me and I don't hate you, you're too smart to hold grudges and frankly you turn me on so much I can't hate you"

"Oh" she said allowing him to pull her along behind him slightly further down the passage, to be honest she didn't hate this boy, she knew he had a hard life and thought that most of the time he was just acting to keep up his appearance and status, and he was rather attractive, she mentally slapped herself not knowing why she was taking this risk but she was finding it rather enjoyable, they appeared outside a heavy looking wooden door and Draco lead her in. Inside there was a grand fireplace with a rug with the Hogwarts cress on it, a red sofa and a double bed with a canopy and green sheets. Pulling her down on the sofa next to him she was surprised when he didn't move.

"What's wrong?" She asked

"I only want to do this, whatever this is, if you're ready after everything that's happened"

"The sense of risk is strangely appealing"

"Is that a yes?"

"It's a, I'll tell you If you go too far"

"Okay" he said smiling weakly, this was a completely different Malfoy to the one she knew, and a completely different Hermione to the one he knew he turned his head to see her looking at him with a concerned expression on her face, smiling weakly, he put his hand under her chin and pulled her lips towards his kissing her gently, before he moved his hand to her cheek before sliding it back into her hair as he traced her lips with his tongue, slowly Hermione opened her mouth for him in disbelief the whole time and his tongue slipped in gently but passionately kissing her, teasing her tongue, grabbing her he pulled her onto his lap so she was straddling him, and moved his other hand to her thigh, hers were tangled In his hair and resting on his chest, slowly his hand slid up her thigh and around to the small of her back pushing of her robe and pulling off his own, she slid his hands down his shirt undoing it before he began on hers and she jumped off him, looking extremely shaken

"Sorry, I…. what's wrong?"

"No it wasn't you, I have…. A scar, and it hurts if I do certain things and it brings back so many memories and…."

"We all have scar's, some more than others and they all have memories so much worse than others, look" he said pulling away and sliding his shirt off before turning, his back was marred with scar's "That one was Voldermort got angry because I wouldn't torture my mother, that one he got angry because I wouldn't fuck my mother or my Auntie, and the rest are from all the times I have been raped"

"Im sorry, I didn't know"

"It's alright" he smiled weakly, he slowly approached her and started to hesitantly undo her shirt, slowly revealing her scar and before he could stop himself her let out a whispered "Oh my God" looking up at her with horror in his eyes "Who did that to you?"

"I don't know" she said swallowing the bile that rose in her mouth at the mere of thought of it

"You can't look at it can you"?

"No" she said looking disgusted with herself, walking up to Draco she started kissing him again and they both welcomed the distraction as he kissed her back, pushing her up and against the bed post, Draco reached down a grabbed her thigh bringing her leg up to side and running his hand along it under her skirt, she began to slow her kissing, before pushing him away and grabbing her shirt "I can't do this, I shouldn't have even let it get this far, I love Ronald Weasley, not you and I am certainly not going to become your hoe"

"Hermione"

"Don't call me that, don't even say my name! How could you be so insensitive to even mention this to me, you knew I wasn't going to be thinking straight! Yet you carry on, you said my name like you actually cared about me! You talked to me like you actually cared about me! I feel sick! How could I do this to him! To his family! To Harry!"

"Hermione he's dead"

"I bloody know he is! I was there! I could have saved him!" she yelled doing her buttons up and sliding on her robe "Don't you dare mention this to anyone or to me ever!" she said threatening him with her wand "Got it?"

"Yes"

"Good" she said spinning around and storming out the door back to her quarters, before curling up on the sofa and crying. It must have been the start of break as there was a knock on her door, pulling herself together she called "Who is it?"

"Professor Snape"

Opening the door she let him in, avoiding looking at him but it didn't work

"Miss Granger have you been crying?"

She closed the door and seemed to become suddenly interested in it "No"

"Just because you're not facing me, doesn't mean I can't still tell that you are lying"

"And if I have been? What then?"

"I don't know, you know I find it incredibly difficult to be nice to people"

"No you see" she spun around "I think you find it incredibly difficult to be nice to some people"

"That makes no sense Miss Granger"

"It makes every bit of sense, you find it incredibly difficult to be nice to incompetent fools so you are not, and you are only nice to me because you have been ordered to and not because you care about me in anyway, you still think im an insufferable little know it all, and frankly I think you find it incredibly difficult to even be in the same room as me without snapping, or without thinking about how pathetic I am in your eyes, and honestly I agree with you! I am pathetic and im a horrible person so I hope your happy I really do" she yelled at him and stormed past but he grabbed her wrist

"Miss Granger, what an earth are you going on about! What's happened in the past two hours to make you like this?"

"Malfoy! Draco Malfoy is what's happened! I went too far, I didn't go all the way, but I went too far, I let him know about my scar, how it effects me, I shouldn't have, then I… I threatened him."

"Is this my fault?"

"No it's mine… he jumped me again in the corridor but I didn't resist him, he took me to this…. This room, the only reason we didn't is because he… he tried to take my top of but I stopped, I jumped off him, I wanted to run but I couldn't he, he saw it, he should me his to, he told me how he got them, I betrayed him, his family, Harry…." She paused her eyes full of pain and terror almost whispering "What's happened to me?"

He got the gist of what she was going on about and replied "Your going through an extremely tough time Miss Granger, you weren't thinking straight, he'll understand that, as for his family and Harry they don't have to know, you haven't betrayed anyone, you're not in a relationship with him anymore and I know it hasn't been longing but in the months of grieving, no one thinks straight they do things they would never have done before and then they regret it, thinking that they have betrayed them, but you haven't you were just being reckless, trying to hide the pain, to stop it, that's all. As for what you said about me, do you really think im the type of person who would sit in a room and silently think horrible things about people without voicing them? And would hold back from snapping at them?"

"No… No im sorry… I… just." She sputtered slightly

"Did you take your dreamless sleep potion last night?"

"Yes why?"

He frowned "You look tired"

"I am" she smiled weakly "Nothing im not used to"

"I shouldn't have left you here"

"You have a job and your job is a lot more important than me, are you feeling okay?"

"Yes, I am feeling perfectly fine" he snapped

"Sorry Professor" she said calming herself from her rant

"For what?"

"Oh about earlier, are little fall out, im sorry"

Snapping "You apologize too much"

"Sor..." she began to apologize but he silenced her with a deadly glare "Okay, I shall bear that in mind"

"Humph" he said "It nearly the end of break I better be getting back"

"We still have ten minutes…. Don't be like that"

"Like what?"

"Like a grumpy old sod"

He spun around to face her "Excuse me?" taking a large step towards her

"I do believe I said like a grumpy old sod" he took a large step towards her again and they were millimetres apart "I am well aware of what you said Miss Granger, you deserve a detention for that"

"Ah I thought so" she said thoughtfully stepping backwards to give herself some space

"Do enlighten me to what you thought Miss Granger?" he stepped towards her forcing her to take a step back, landing her back against the wall and him in utter control of her

"The lingering looks. The mood swings. All of it. Your beginning to care about me, and it scares you"

"Care about you?" he repeated sceptical

"Yes care" she said matter of factly, raising her hand to his chest, closing her hand on his robes holding him away before shifting her fist and pulling him close

"What an earth has gotten into you Miss Granger!"

"I honestly don't know Professor, im so sorry" she said letting go of his robes blushing furiously, but he didn't move, their eyes locked and neither of them could "Umm, we need to umm" she stuttered

"Lessons, yes, right" he said stepping away from her but still closer than normal conversations, letting out a breathe she relaxed slightly, looking away, not knowing what came over him, he put his hand under her chin, gently turning her head, she could see the conflicting emotions in his eyes but wasn't sure which ones he would act on, he looked in her eyes and seemed to find what he was looking for as he slowly leaned in and planted his lips gently but passionately on hers, she froze and he worried he had over stepped the line but before he could pull back she had moved her hand and tangled in his, incredibly soft not at all greasy hair, while his came around her waist his hand resting at the bottom of her back, making her feel like her back was on fire (in a good way) causing her to arch towards him, while their other hands entwined together. Hermione met his gaze her breath shaky but her eyes never wavering,

"I shouldn't have done that" he growled to himself and pulled away but Hermione held on to his hand and pulled him to face him

"Sometimes" her voice shaky before she took a deep breath and ploughed onwards, her voice much stronger now "Sometimes in life you have to break the rules, I know it because many a time I have, but life's too short for regrets, because the mistakes you make shape you, I would know, I have made plenty, and when I think back there are something's I wish I could have done differently or did when I had the chance but I didn't and yes I took me a while to accept that and overcome the regret but when I did it made it a little bit easier"

"Well your mistakes are much smaller than mine!" he growled but didn't take his hand from hers

"How do you know!" she immediately sparked up realising his hand "You don't know ANTHING" she threw her hand in the air "About me, you don't know what I've done, you don't know what mistakes I've made"

"Miss Granger!" he growled cutting her off "Your biggest mistake is getting frisky with Malfoy" and he knew he had gone too far, he eyes immediately filled up, her hands clenched subconsciously into fists and she stood up extremely straight, her jaw clenched, he had never seen her lose it like this, even on the many an opportunity she could have, especially with friends like Potter and Weasley "Get out please" her voice scarily calm, her hand going into her robe and pulling out her wand, pointing it at the floor, where sparks where flying threateningly from them

"I…"

"Professor" she growled her voice breaking a bit, God if he didn't leave now she was going to explode at him "Please, get out" her calm faltered slightly as she growled "Now"

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><p><strong>Please r&amp;r :) it would be much appreciated :)<strong>


	7. Fear Is A Strange Thing

"Very well" he said turning and leaving, as soon as he was out the door, Hermione let one tear of anger escape but only one, as she straightened her robes, stowed her wand away and looked back on what had just happened, and frankly she felt disgusted with herself, this only added to her anger as she seized her bag off the side and stomped down to potions, keeping her head down not making eye contact with anyone, even as she queued, not that this was hard of course, as Harry was still at the Weasley's, if her education wasn't such a worry for her she would have skipped all her lessons ever since the day he died, but no, she must battle on, she wouldn't let this effect her whole future, except it has, he's gone, he was my future. She thought to herself standing in the Gryffindor line waiting outside of potions, the funny thing was, she bet, that at least nearly everyone here, had one thing or another weighing on their mind, some admittedly a lot more substantial than others, but still…. The dungeon door interrupted her train of thought, she looked up and her anger began to boil beneath the surface once more as she saw him, looking away, Malfoy caught her gaze, he gazed at her and she simply looked back, her eyes held nothing but hurt and anger, if it was directed towards him he did not know, and wouldn't find out as they were swept in with the crowd.

SSPOV

I watched her as she walked in and set up at their usual table, obviously trying to avoiding looking at where Weasley worked, yet as always she failed, glancing her eyes filled with tears, but she blinked and they disappeared, walking to the front of the class I began and her eyes didn't lock with mine as frequently as they usually did, as I lectured them on the ingredients of blood-replenishing potion and why they were used, but when they did, all I saw was pain, pain and anger, if it was directed towards me I do not know, I feel terrible for what I said to her, yet I will not admit it, not even to her, even though I know it will ease some of her pain, her eyes were dark, oh so dark, yet I can't help but search for them when I teach, it was a sort of reassurance that at least one of my students learn from me. I can remember her eyes when the light was gone, when they weren't filled with pain. She has changed so much, and I haven't changed at all. Or maybe, I have become an old fool and changed as much as she. Either way, as I scan my classroom for someone to pick on to answer my latest question, her eyes keep jumping out at me, no one has eyes like that.

"Class dismissed" I called and my eyes locked on her following her out the room, before I cleaned my classroom, locked it and went to join her for dinner. That was the longest two hour lesson I had, had in a while.

HGPOV

That was the longest potions class she had had in a while, half expecting him not to turn up for dinner, she settled in the couch and gazed into the fire, longing for Ron. For her parent's, for someone. Standing to leave and find Lupin she swung open her door and walked straight into Snape.

"Going somewhere?"

"Obviously not anymore" she growled under her breath but loud enough for him to hear as she turned on her heel and he closed the door.

"Where were you going?"

"Why do you care?" she growled but realised she was being out of order, correcting herself "To see Remus"

"Oh it's Remus is it now?"

"Stop it!"

"Stop what Miss Granger?" he was smirking outside but inside he was far from happy

"Stop acting! Stop pretending that you don't care! Because you do!" she said raising voice before quietening it "Just stop it, please."

"Im not pretending Miss Granger"

"How can you stand there and lie to my face! Lie to yourself! I mean a certain amount of lying is required to get through the day, but you never face the pain, you never did after the day you found her. You saw her lying there, you cradled her I your arms and wept. But now you lie. That's right, I know Professor. You hate Harry because he looks so much like James, but when you look into his eyes you can't see anything but her, and it causes you so much pain, and you hate him so much" her voice full of emotion

"You don't know anything; you're just an immature, hormonal little girl" he growled

"Ah you see that, right there, just proves how little you know"

"Then please do enlighten me"

This threw her a bit and she went to look out the window over her kitchen counter

"Exactly you have nothing to say!" and as soon as these words were out of his mouth

She yelled "IM SCARED!" spinning around and their eyes locked, before she whispered "_Im scared and im hurting and I don't know what to do" _Her voice full of pain and terror and longing

"I."

A tear escaped her eye, out of the many she was holding back, that was the one that had successfully escaped from the prison she had been holding it in, the one that showed how she truly felt, but at that moment, that tear was her worst enemy, but she let it run down her cheek, burning a track into her cheek as it shouted out to this man in front of her, almost begging for comfort, she didn't shy away, she didn't hide her pain, she just sunk to the kitchen floor and began weeping her eyes out

"Hermione" he whispered caringly hiding the pain from his voice as he saw her like this, sitting on the floor next to her he put his arms around her and she immediately cuddled into his chest, she felt safe in his arms, she felt like nothing else could her hurt, she fitted perfectly, slowly but eventually she stopped crying and listened to his heartbeat, drifting off, he gently brushed the hair out of her face and drifted off next to her. This is how Dumbledore found them, embracing each other, one with a tear stained face, the other with a tear stained robe, and at that moment in time he knew they would both be okay eventually, as long as they had each other

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><p><strong>Out of character but still in character, Snape's nice side, isn't it cute :) Please R&amp;R :)<strong>


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